Why Talking About End-of-Life Issues Is So Difficult, And So Important
Patricia Wen of The Boston Globe writes of the difficulty of discussing end-of-life matters with family members. She tells the struggle of one daughter to openly talk about signing a 'Do Not Resuscitate' (DNR) order with her terminally ill mother. Wen reports that both physicians and a patient's relatives delay in making decisions about DNR orders.
Massachusetts is considering introducing the POLST form ("Physician Order for Life Sustaining Treatment") which is being used by other states already.
Massachusetts is considering introducing the POLST form ("Physician Order for Life Sustaining Treatment") which is being used by other states already.
Labels: end-of-life
Posted by: HFA permalink
2 Comments:
Yes! It is so very, very difficult to breach this subject. But you have to.
My suggestion is to make it about someone else--we all know someone who has recently been diagnosed with a devastating, life-limiting ilness.
Use that as catalyst (even if it'snot someone you know personally--even use a person in the news, etc).
Use this other scenario to slowly but intentionally ask them what they want, what they would do--break up the conversation with what you want, what you would do.
My mother was just the opposite--she planned everything down to the last detail. Gotta love those control freaks!
As a speaker on end of life issues, I've also come to realize that even if you have a DNR, they are not always honored--if you're not there (at the hospital, etc.) then understand that sometimes hospital protocol or an uninformed staff might not honor your loved one's wishes.
Risk your loved one becoming upset. Risk it--and start a conversation. You'll be glad you did.
~Carol D. O'Dell
Author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir, available on Amazon
Hello -
I just read your article about end-of-life decision-making.
I wanted to let you know I am a documentary maker and hospice volunteer in Atlanta, Georgia.
I've produced a short documentary about end-of- life decision making, palliative care, caregiving and hospice.
It's called 203 Days.
You can view it in its entirety at the following University of Connecticut website along with a study guide.
It is an unflinching look at the day-to-day interactions between patient and caregiver, in this case an 89 year old woman who is living with her daughter.
http://fitsweb.uchc.edu/days/days.html
203 Days just won the First Place 2007 Film Award from the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO).
If you'd like more information please go to my website
http://bbarash.com/bb_203days.htm
I hope this film is helpful to people who want to know more about some of the most common experiences for caregiver and patient at this difficult time.
Bailey Barash
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