Help for Hospice Angels

Vince Chiles

“You’re such an angel. . . You were sent by God. . . You’re so special, thank you so much.” These are the kinds of comments that hospice nurses, social workers, home health aides, chaplains, and volunteers hear everyday from their patients and patients’ families. Hospice staff have been compared to angels, but unlike their heavenly comparisons are mortal, and as a result are affected by the work they do daily..

Being in close proximity to the terminally ill and dying affects the hospice professional in profound emotional, social, spiritual and psychological ways. It is next to impossible not to form some type of emotional bond to hospice patients, and when they die, the professional and volunteer grieves. The hospice professional and volunteer must temper social interactions with family and friends who aren’t as comfortable talking about death and dying, and might feel as if they, as hospice workers, don’t have people who understand their needs. By working so closely to death, one will naturally question his or her own religious and/or spiritual beliefs, and sometimes wrestle with doubt and uncertainty. As the hospice professional searches for good answers for all the suffering and pain she witnesses, she may also experience psychological stress from this work.

It is important that the seasoned hospice professional develop an arsenal of self-care techniques to combat the potential occupational hazards. I feel the best self-care techniques are those that are natural, effortless and produce instant benefit. By natural I mean that these are skills you already possess. (You may be unaware of their self-care power.) By effortless I mean that these skills require little or no physical effort to perform. Finally, by instant I mean that they only require a few seconds or minutes to perform. Self-care skills that combine these three elements are easy to use and to benefit from. Some examples:

Breathe Deeply: Deep breathing is a great example of a self-care technique that meets the above criteria. Breathing is natural; we all do it, and it is often effortless. When feeling stressed or burdened by the emotional pressures of hospice work, this technique can be used for short periods of time, in a few seconds to minutes, and it produces quick benefits. You perform this exercise by focusing your attention on inhaling and exhaling, and then comfortably allowing each exchange to last three to four seconds. Deep breathing helps to increase oxygen flow to your brain, which allows you to clear your mind and feel refreshed. As a result, deep breathing is a natural, effortless, and instant self-care technique.

Laugh Out Loud: Another easy and fun self-care technique is to laugh longer and harder each time someone tells a joke or a funny story. Laughing has many benefits, from stimulating the immune system to improving one’s mood. Laughing at someone else’s joke improves inter-personal relations, and also helps to promote the other person’s mood. Laughing is natural, it’s simple, and it’s instant. It may feel a little awkward at first, but after you experience its benefits, it will be contagious.

Practice Kindness: We’ve all seen the bumper sticker “Practice Random Acts of Kindness.” Being kind by holding a door open, or by complimenting a store clerk on good service, takes only seconds to do, but kindness can go a long way to promote one’s well-being. We may not think kindness is natural, but it is - our survival depends on it. Kind deeds can be effortless, and the benefits are instant in improving the outlooks of the giver and receiver.

Feel Grateful: Remind yourself to feel grateful everyday. Feel gratitude for the air you breathe, your home, your loved ones, and your life. Gratitude is effortless. It requires only a momentary reflection on what you appreciate in your life. Feeling gratitude is a great self-care technique because it can be done by reflecting on five to 10 things you appreciate today. The rewards of practicing gratitude include a better outlook and increased sense of satisfaction with oneself.

Do you have a self-care technique that you have found especially helpful and easy to do? If so, please share it with us here.

Vince Chiles, MSW