Celebrating Death, Hospice Visits, and Alzheimer's

This post is a round-up of a few items of interest that address caregiving, death, and hospice from a personal perspective.

• TIME Magazine had an essay from Nancy Gibbs about celebrating the day of her father's death. The metaphor her husband used to explain his death to their daughter is wonderful.

  How is it that the one event we know with absolute certainty will occur is still one we improvise? Do we lower our voices, dress in black, save a lock of hair as the Victorians did and wove into jewelry? Do you let young children see a corpse--the very word suddenly cold and empty because his flesh and blood no longer matter, his meaning filling the space once his presence is gone? "Is that Grandpa?" our 4-year-old wondered. "No, honey," my husband told her. "He's not here anymore. That's just his body." She worked at this, how the arms that held her and the lap she sat in were no longer him. "You know how when we go to Florida, we leave our winter coats at home because we won't need them there? Well, he just left this behind because he doesn't need it anymore." And this appeared to make perfect sense to her, and she went to play, full of love and certainty, and we all took a walk in the watery light of late afternoon.

• A medical student at the University of Glasgow blogs about her visit to a hospice as part of her medical training.

  I spent Wednesday morning at a hospice on the south side of the Clyde.
  
  It may not be how most people would react, but afterwards, standing outside, I turned to my VS tutor and said, “This is going to sound weird, but it seemed like a really happy place.”

• The News-Times (Connecticut) carried a story about the strong love that remains in a 68-year marriage of a couple where the husband has Alzheimer's disease.