Next week is National Volunteers Week and HFA wanted to say thank for the dedication hospice volunteers show each and every day. Without its volunteers, many hospices could not provide the high level of care they do for terminally ill patients and their families. Hospice volunteers perform a wide variety of vital services, including support for patient, respite care, bereavement support and more. To learn more about what hospice volunteers are doing in your community, or about how to become a hospice volunteer,
please visit our website.
Recently, one of our readers, Laura Edge, was so moved by her experience of training to become a hospice volunteer, she sent us an essay about how it has changed her perceptions of hospice care. We thank Laura for sharing her thoughts with us, and we thank all the volunteers who contribute their time, talents, and energy to assist the dying and their families.
I am a new volunteer with a hospice in West Texas. I wanted to express how much I have been affected by my training and how "off" I was in many of my assumptions of what hospice care meant. Being in the funeral and cemetery industry for almost 14 years, I have only ever heard positive things about hospice. I did not know, however, how much more hospice provides. I have always been taught about grief from the survivors’ point of view. I have come to the realization of what pre-arrangements and planning ahead truly means. It took a class on “Finishing Well” to help me see how to live well, to live with purpose.
When I began trying to decide if I wanted to work with the Children’s Grief Center or with hospice, I took a weekend course for the Children’s Grief Center, and then “Ending Well,” an eight-week class required of hospice volunteers prior to working with a patient and family. I wanted to take the classes because I thought it would help me as a funeral professional. In truth, since I had all this “experience” I was simply going to sit through the “required training” in order to sit with families occasionally, and help with teens who were having difficulty adjusting to a loss. I did not realize any of this was going to affect me on such a personal level. I am only in the third week of this training, and have yet to volunteer, but, already, I have been touched in ways I could never have predicted.
Most of the people who are volunteering with hospice are there because hospice had been there for them at a time of need, or because they are caregivers of persons who were currently in hospice. The depth and the truth these families are sharing was, and is, beyond words. I cannot express how exposed and vulnerable these caregivers are as they weekly search for answers. I often felt as if I was glimpsing at parts of their souls as I heard their stories.
As I sat in the class, I began to question quite a bit of what I had been taught, both on the job and in the classroom. One woman explained that her husband had been dead for over 25 years, and that most people have come to avoid the topic of him. It was hurtful to her, 25 years later, still a fresh wound. But she expressed that when someone did speak about him, it gave her joy because he was being remembered. She said this was more of a tribute to him than anything else. There are many, many more opportunities to memorialize someone.
Since I have been in the funeral and cemetery industry for so long, my family tends to think that I am whom they need to talk to about their final wishes. Not one family event, be it a holiday or a birthday or a funeral, goes by without someone pulling me aside to tell me what scriptures they want read at their funeral, the color and kind of flowers they want on their casket, or that they have changed their song choice (AGAIN), or “PLEASE, don’t let them put orange lipstick on me.” I have always listened and planned on making sure their wishes are followed through, but I am beginning to realize the extent, the importance of helping them finish well. Whether simply spoken in confidence or placed in writing or arranged beforehand, they provide true moments of sharing and that will undoubtedly be important to the ones they left behind.
Laura EdgeLabels: hospice and palliative care