A Gentle Death: Part 6 - Caroline (again)
By Barbara O'Neil Ross
Part 6 - Caroline (again)
By December, with the help of oxygen and his support team, John is still able to enjoy many activities. One Saturday he is feeling droopier than usual and seems to have cold symptoms. By Sunday afternoon Nina and Caroline diagnose pneumonia. His lungs are very fragile, his oxygen level dangerously low; we all know this is a critical development. John is too weak for lung therapy, so Nina reads to him from his current choice of books: Into Thin Air.
Caroline and I have a tearful conference in the kitchen. She could prescribe antibiotics, but tells me that if he survives pneumonia, his life will be severely compromised. He will probably be bedridden. I know John's feelings about this issue; we have talked about it many times. We decide to keep him comfortable with morphine.
It's a challenge to find additional help on a Sunday evening, but Caroline is tenacious. After many calls she reaches a trusted Polish nurse who will stay with John overnight. As Caroline departs, John asks, “Would you mind hiking back up the stairs so I can see your new red coat?”
She returns early the next morning. John is slipping rapidly and Caroline dashes back and forth to her car getting equipment. She calls in another aide to be here when she has to be out briefly.
[John H. Ross, 1925-2002]
By afternoon John is in a coma. Caroline tells me and John's devoted sister and niece, who have joined us, that the last sense to go is hearing. We can each say goodbye to him, and he will receive our messages. She suggests we try to reach his children. Miraculously, both Ellie and Craig, who live active West Coast lives, answer their phones. We hold the phone up close to John's ear.
Each of us in turn makes our final comments to this original, much-loved and courageous man. I ask to be alone with him.
Caroline's final words express what all of us feel: “John, it has been wonderful to know you and to be able to be part of your life. You are the perfect gentleman.”
